Good
vibrations -
The vibrator
Instead of
the cheapie versions we suggest other models that are safe and more powerful,
and can be manipulated with greater ease. While the plug-in varieties will
require you to stay in the proximity of an electric outlet, you can always get
an extension cord if your activities take you away from the bedroom. What’s
more, they have variable speeds, which allow different folks different
strokes, and are quick fix if you’re all alone on a Saturday night, too. The
Panasonic Panabrator and the Hitachi Magic Wand, for example, have both knobs
at the end of a longish handle.
Vibrator
can be soothing or stimulating, depending on where you put them. We’ve
already mentioned the benefits of massage. If he seems like
the type who likes to be in control, hand him the baton and let him conduct a
foreplay symphony on you. He’ll be turned on by your moans and groans of
ecstasy. You can reciprocate by putting the knob close to his taint during
your manual or oral activities; just remember to keep the speed low or else he
may buzz right off the bed. During intercourse, the best way for both of you
to enjoy one is to position the vibrator on your pubis while the guy is inside
you. That way, you both get a buzz at the same time. If you’re on your
stomach during intercourse, try putting the vibrator beneath you for the same
affect. The weight of your bodies will keep it in place. If you’re face to
face, it’s easier for the person on the bottom to hold the vibrator between
you.
A friend of
ours gave us one of those “discreet” catalogs with all kinds of sex toys
we’d never even imagined. Our eyes wide with wonder, we stayed up late into
the night poring over this catalog of erotic inventions. With everything from
Delay Spray to something called the Clitterrific, we were both fascinated and
amused. They even had dildo replicas of famous porn star penises. We figure
that if you want to strap on one of these, you’ll know where to find it.
While you’re at it, maybe you should seriously consider your sexual
orientation. And if he wants you to use one of these on him, our advise is to
say “so long” right now. It’s only a matter of time until he goes out
searching for the real thing … becoming gay.
Ring
around
Most woman
and very few men know about the next toy worthy of mention – the cock ring.
The purpose of those magic rings is to keep Mr. Stiffy stiff for a longer
period of time. Some guys swear by them, but agree the ring is used mostly for
special occasions. If you haven’t been dating someone for a while, or if you
plan to use this on the delivery boy, be forewarned, however. He may be
shocked, begin to sweat, and remember that he has to go somewhere at just that
very minute. Worse yet, he may feel intimidated because he has no idea of what
to do with it. This toy is better for couples who have been together for a
while, and who feel pretty secure about trying new things. If this sounds like
your situation, you won’t have trouble introducing new toys. Hand him a
small box tied with a satin ribbon. This is a subtle, ladylike way of making
the suggestion without ever having utter a word. His response when he opens
the box will tell you what to do next.
There are
three types of cock rings – leather, rubber and steel – but they basically
function in the same way. The guy has to put both his penis and his testicles
through the ring. It goes without saying that this is much easier to do when
it’s soft. In the same way that most women prefer putting in a diaphragm in
private because of all the contortions that are necessary to get it in place,
the application of the cock ring is generally done beforehand and alone. But
if he’s into it, and once it’s on, he’ll feel very proud of himself, and
may start strutting around like a roaster.
Steel cook
rings do come in sizes, which is another reason to use them with someone you
know well. Guys don’t want to find an assorted variety of rings clanging
around in your nightstand drawer. You can tell by experience whether he’s
small, medium or large, so choose accordingly. Most men would prefer that the
size be large, huge and humongous. An important thing to remember is that it
shouldn’t be too tight, otherwise you can do some serious damage. The
leather version varieties come with adjustable snaps, ties and even Velcro;
but these can get pretty tough and be a real turn-off, especially if he thinks
you’ve used this with lots of guys before him. A last word of caution here:
If he likes these so much that he goes out and gets himself a leather band
with weights attached, he’s primed to look for “rough trade” of the
variety that’s probably not of your gender.
Better
living through television
It always
amazes us that many woman overlook videos – one of the easiest and most
accessible devices to turn guys on. You can be squeamish about other ...
... devices
because you don’t want to purchase them, or because you’re not into toys;
but there is absolutely no reason in this day and age to feel the slightest
embarrassment about getting videos. Almost every video rental place has a
section or a room for adults only.
Another one
of our informal scientific poll showed that women are more turned on by
reading sexy stories that by watching people have sex.
Men love to
watch. If you don’t believe us, think about all those porno theaters and
twenty-four hour peep-show booths that stay in business year after year.
Somebody’s got to patronize them. Nowadays, even the most sophomoric
bachelor parties steer clear of life entertainment, whether it’s a babe in a
big cake or a visit to a brothel. The modern day alternative is for the guys
to get loaded and go back to someone’s place to watch videos.
The beauty
of videos is that you can choose from just about a zillion titles featuring
every sexual fantasy you can think of. You can also preview them alone and at
your leisure, in the privacy of your own home. This is where it’s really
important to choose the right stuff for you. If you think something’s gross,
then watching it with him won’t do much for either of you. If you’re
adventurous, go ahead and see what you like. He’ll be so amazed that you did
this that he’ll be happy with whatever you choose.
For those
who find this concept somewhat appealing, but don’t want to deal with
hard-core, we suggest starting with something that qualifies as sex kitsch.
This could be renting an old copy of FLESH GORDON, where the hero battles the
terrifying space penisaurous, or DEEP THROAT, a classic by any means. These
dated videos are tame by today’s standards, but they will get the point
across. If you’re scared to bring them up to the checkout counter, just
causally mention to the clerk that you’re having a bachelorette party. No
one will bat an eyelash.
Lets’ say
you can handle something a bit racier. While lots of guys are turned on by
watching two women making it together, he might think you’re trying to send
him a message. Ditto on anything else that you may not want to practice. Guys
are pretty easy that way; if you show him something with, let’s say, three
guys and a lady, he’ll think you want just that, too. So choose what’s
right for you well in advance. He’ll figure it out.
Okay, now
you want to know when to introduce the video, right? We already told you that
your VCR and monitor should be within prime viewing distance from the bed, and
that a remote control is key. Prepare the videos in ascending order of
sexiness. If it’s a guy you’ve known for a bit, just call him up, promise
him beer or whatever, and tell him you want him to come over to watch some
video with you. If he asks what you’ve got, rattle off the list of titles.
Be prepared for a moment of hesitation on the phone. Women don’t usually do
this sort of things (he might think). He may not believe you’re telling the
truth, but tell him he’ll have to come over to find out for sure. He’ll be
there before you can microwave the popcorn.
Suppose
he’s a full-fledged boyfriend or husband. Get to a point in the evening
where you’re both relaxed. You can have the videos all stacked up with one
already in the VRC. Tell him you’ve prepared a surprise for the evening’s
entertainment and ask him to join you on the bed. If you really want to make
sure he gets the point and is having a good time, begin stroking Mr. Stiffy;
he’ll be out to say hello before the opening credits are finished, and you
wont have to worry about another thing.
If the guy
is someone you want to seduce after a date, your best bet is to have a naughty
little video all queued up and ready to go when you get home. Just invite him
in for a drink and causally turn on the VCR, or better yet, hand him the
remote. Things will fast-forward in no time, and you’ll scoop up one more
gold ring while riding his carousel.
